Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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