I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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