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• (213): View more from California

  I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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• (415): View more from California

  Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.

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