wrigley field is MILF paradise
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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