I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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