sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
