So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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