I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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