I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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