about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
