i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
