i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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