can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
