There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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