she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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