I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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