oh god the rape fog is back!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
