ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
