i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
