I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
