i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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