i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
