Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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