That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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