Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
