i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
