My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
