Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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