Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
whose parrot is this?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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