he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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