you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
