That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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