my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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