You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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