I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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