so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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