this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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