Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize