I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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