On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize