nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
