Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
