That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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