Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
