based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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