i would punch a child for taco bell
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
