when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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