i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Fuck appropriateness.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
this will be a night to untag.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
