im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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