i think my tv is drunk
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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