I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
