chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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