But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
