Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize