I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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