Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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