I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
