pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We just shotgunned beers for America
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
