maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
