he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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