hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
