oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
