Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
