The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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