Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
