Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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