weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
