I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
