I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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